february 23, 2012
the dream: i park my car in a vast lot surrounded by trees. it might be a school parking lot or it might be the lot at global soft digital in mawah. i’m milling around and i see a blue volvo station wagon pull in. i know this car. sure enough kelbasa is driving. i think to myself ‘i haven’t seen him in years. i wonder what he’s doing here.’ kelbasa is dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and his hair is long, like it was years ago. when i see him i’m instantly worried about the fact that i’m not drinking anymore. and i’m going to have to tell him. i think ‘maybe i can smoke a joint instead’ but i know it’s not a good idea right now. i think to myself ‘what is he doing here and what are we doing here to begin with?’ then it occurs to me that i had scheduled this in my calendar. we go and enter the strip club. i get carded and i’m guessing it’s because i’m wearing a button-down shirt. i must stand out against all the t-shirts. the woman watching the door says something to me about ‘antonio.’ i’m stunned and ask her if i thought i heard her right. then i realize she works at the doggie-day-care place, unleashed. [but in the waking world she doesn’t. i’ve never seen her before.] i say to her ‘let’s keep this between us!’ i don’t want her to tell anyone i’m at a strip club. we walk in and i look around. then i wake up.
my thoughts: no idea where the setting came from. i’m guessing the drinking and the old friend come from my conscious thoughts about telling people i’m no longer drinking. i told my mom the night before and i shared about it at a meeting.
