july 17, 2012
the dreams: i’m walking with S. it’s strange that we’re together because we really have never talked. we know each other from a distance. but here she is, smiling, and telling me that she’s pregnant. i’m a little surprised, not only because we never talk and she’s telling me this, but also because i didn’t think their relationship was at that level. so i think aloud that R needs to know. i’m on a mission in afghanistan. i have to move swiftly so i tuck my sidearm into my boxer shorts. i need to find the nuclear device before it’s too late. i know there is a device because they asked if i found ‘the’ device, not ‘a’ device. it surprises me that i’m able to discern this. i must be a good agent. i find it. it’s strapped to a woman holding a baby. there are wires and gadgets all over. i realize that it’s going to take a team to move it. i can’t cut the lead wire or everything will blow. in the distance i see the taliban approaching. i don’t have much time so i grab my machine gun and start to scurry up an embankment to find cover. but i realize i left my shoulder bag behind. but there’s no time to go back and get it. it feels like i failed. i’m catching a flight. not sure where i’m going or where i am. but the terminal is almost empty. i think i must be late for my flight. the terminal looks like a bank lobby. nobody seems interested in helping me. i think i yell at a gate agent.
