may 11, 2012
the dreams: i think i’m in a mall. i’m walking past an old lady who is struggling to walk. from a distance she’s wearing grey sweats. i can see that she is either sweating or she’s peed herself. as i get closer her appearance changes. she looks like her legs aren’t supporting her weight. she’s wearing green polyester pants and some floral print shirt. she has glasses. i think to myself that i should help her but i get the sense that she’s independent and doesn’t want my help. so i don’t ask.
i’m at monica’s wedding. i’m dressed like i was back in college. somewhat preppy khaki shorts, polo shirt tucked in. i want to dance with monica. she takes me by the arm and we walk and talk. i’m still surprised that she wants to be with him. i feel that she’s settled for a life that maybe she doesn’t want. i don’t understand why she wants to live where she does. and then i start to realize that this is my perception. i realize that she might actually be happy. and that makes me happy.
